the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm always down for nudity.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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