good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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