she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
