Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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