He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You were trust falling into bushes
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize