Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
