guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
