they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
