why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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