you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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