I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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