You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
