with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
