If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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