We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
