ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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