I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
