quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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