I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
