you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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