I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
