i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
