Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
