Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
