tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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