I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We left the knife in your bed.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
