I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
