The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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