You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We need to rekindle our bromance
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
