I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Damn victory sex feels great
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
