Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
