you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
