stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
