next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
there was a trapeze. enough said
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
