dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Someone came in the potted fern
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize