If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
