so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
