suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
