There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
