don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
