do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
