I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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