all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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