so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
