We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
no more duck duck goose at the bar
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
