Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
