Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
