I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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