She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
