I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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