Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
zippers are such a cool invention
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
