When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
