You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
