I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
