this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
