Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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