And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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