I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
