You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
