I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
